Haiz

again i dont feel right.
morning was hyper-active. just feel like running around, jumping up and down.
at late noon, i was totally lifeless. i feel that even if a car were to bang me, i wun have the will to tell myself to live on. today only ate 1 chicken pie and 1 bar of chocolate.

From tomorrow onwards, i will offically stop taking my pills. the effects are far too drastic.
i lost 5kg due to the lost of appetite.

i can feel that a tiny part of me is weeping. so tiny that i can only feel it sometimes. i do not feel sad about it but there is another part of me that just wants to give up everything and have as much fun as i can which is the stronger feeling that is affecting me.

i do not know what has become of me.
i gave up on the pills, on myself and on god.
i feel so helpless, so lifeless and so dead.




i am not trying to emo or self pity, i had already tried my best.